Week 1
So far, I've been home about a week, and it feels like I haven't been doing well. I have, by my own rules, I have; but there's some emotional confusion tied up in this. For example, it feels like my very first weekend home, all I did was spend money. Well, it's true. I had been gone for over 2 weeks, so I had to buy groceries. And for me at least, that meant 2 different shopping runs and a delivery order to restock the pantry, look for discount produce, and visit Foster Sundry for my meats.
On top of that, after taking my first shower I realized I'm very nearly out of shampoo, and that was a clear exception to things that I was allowed to replace as I used them up - so I went and bought shampoo, and dry shampoo (of which I have been out of for weeks). But it still "felt" like shopping. That voice of "how are you going to make it through this year when you went and bought food and shampoo in your first week!" I had not expected that voice to show up, at least not so soon. It's clearly not a logical or rational voice, because I need food, and the world around me will thank me to keep showering, with soap and shampoo.
I've also thought of a couple of red flags on the field coming up this year. For one, my desktop computer at home is about 10 years old, maybe a little older. The monitors are definitely a few years older. I don't turn it on every day, but it feels like sometimes that when I'm booting it up, it might be the last time, if it makes it. A new computer is a really big new purchase! I would say that generally goes against the whole idea of a Depth Year, but at the same time, a computer is absolutely necessary in today's day and age, especially if I want to be able to work from home now and again; and it's really clear that my old machine is only just limping along at this point. So, does a new computer, to replace a very old, no longer optimally functioning one warrant an exception? I think it's going to, just not sure when yet.
Also, the other red flag is my mid-weight winter coats. I have two, neither one are in great condition (both were bought second hand to begin with). I tried looking for a replacement coat while thrifting in December, but didn't find anything remotely close to good enough. So, instead, I sat down the other day and got out the needle and thread, and patched both coats. I restitched the stretched out button holes on one, whip-stitched over the cuffs that were totally frayed open, restitched a popped shoulder seam (that I have no idea how long that will hold), and am hoping I did enough repair work that they can last me through until spring. After that, it's "future-me"'s problem whether or not they can survive late fall/early winter 2020. If it actually gets properly cold this winter, they'll get a rest when I have to switch over to my shearling coat for serious winter weather. It's in fine condition, so no worries there.
Otherwise, despite it not being an official part of "Depth Year," my mind keeps looping back to what I have to much of. I feel like I need to do some cleaning out of STUFF, not only stop from buying new stuff, but maybe slim down and get rid of some unnecessary space-fillers. It's really not part of it, but my brain keeps shifting to that mindset, anyway. Probably because it's a much more familiar and "normal" way for me to think. Interesting idea. We'll see how that goes as I move forward.
That also makes me think about should I define "swapping/trading" and how that fits in to this as well? I'm inclined to think that since the emphasis is "no more new (to me)" and not really "don't spend money on" that events like swap meets would be off the table. If I go to just drop off stuff, that's fine, that's just like donating to a thrift store; but if I come back with something new, even if it was free, then that breaks the rules. Something else to mull over.
On top of that, after taking my first shower I realized I'm very nearly out of shampoo, and that was a clear exception to things that I was allowed to replace as I used them up - so I went and bought shampoo, and dry shampoo (of which I have been out of for weeks). But it still "felt" like shopping. That voice of "how are you going to make it through this year when you went and bought food and shampoo in your first week!" I had not expected that voice to show up, at least not so soon. It's clearly not a logical or rational voice, because I need food, and the world around me will thank me to keep showering, with soap and shampoo.
I've also thought of a couple of red flags on the field coming up this year. For one, my desktop computer at home is about 10 years old, maybe a little older. The monitors are definitely a few years older. I don't turn it on every day, but it feels like sometimes that when I'm booting it up, it might be the last time, if it makes it. A new computer is a really big new purchase! I would say that generally goes against the whole idea of a Depth Year, but at the same time, a computer is absolutely necessary in today's day and age, especially if I want to be able to work from home now and again; and it's really clear that my old machine is only just limping along at this point. So, does a new computer, to replace a very old, no longer optimally functioning one warrant an exception? I think it's going to, just not sure when yet.
Also, the other red flag is my mid-weight winter coats. I have two, neither one are in great condition (both were bought second hand to begin with). I tried looking for a replacement coat while thrifting in December, but didn't find anything remotely close to good enough. So, instead, I sat down the other day and got out the needle and thread, and patched both coats. I restitched the stretched out button holes on one, whip-stitched over the cuffs that were totally frayed open, restitched a popped shoulder seam (that I have no idea how long that will hold), and am hoping I did enough repair work that they can last me through until spring. After that, it's "future-me"'s problem whether or not they can survive late fall/early winter 2020. If it actually gets properly cold this winter, they'll get a rest when I have to switch over to my shearling coat for serious winter weather. It's in fine condition, so no worries there.
Otherwise, despite it not being an official part of "Depth Year," my mind keeps looping back to what I have to much of. I feel like I need to do some cleaning out of STUFF, not only stop from buying new stuff, but maybe slim down and get rid of some unnecessary space-fillers. It's really not part of it, but my brain keeps shifting to that mindset, anyway. Probably because it's a much more familiar and "normal" way for me to think. Interesting idea. We'll see how that goes as I move forward.
That also makes me think about should I define "swapping/trading" and how that fits in to this as well? I'm inclined to think that since the emphasis is "no more new (to me)" and not really "don't spend money on" that events like swap meets would be off the table. If I go to just drop off stuff, that's fine, that's just like donating to a thrift store; but if I come back with something new, even if it was free, then that breaks the rules. Something else to mull over.
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